Psalm 73

Well, it's been the longest time, hasn't it :-)
I'm part of an online study of psalms, and this past week, we've been trying to deal with psalm 73. Here are some of my thoughts :-)

I've been reading this psalm every day for the past week, and what with the things that are and have been happening around "our" ears internationally, not least the atrocious slaughter of little girls in a Amish school, two things have "crystallized" in my head re. this psalm (and mind you, this is not a scholarly reading, just a pastoral one)
The first thing is, that this psalm, deals head-on with the problem, that there is no visible equation between being a good person, a faithful one, and a prosperous one.
Health, Wealth and Happiness do not automatically follow faith and trust in God.
Being a "good person" does not automatically ensure you a problem-free life.
Having faith and trust in God, however, does equal, that the race to "be someone" to be rich, have parties, the right clothes etc, or "to have" worldly goods, becomes of less importance.
There is a huge ... security in trusting, that just as God looks to the lilies of the valley, he will supply your needs :-)

The other thing I took in from this psalm is, that bitterness and anger are dangerous things. Doesn't really matter who you direct it at. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is everything that keeps you away from it, even for a very short time. Emotions like anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy are all that. And these are just the ones on the top of my head.
And what is worse, we all have it !
"My feet had well nigh slipped ..."

Now, don't get me wrong here, I'm not pointing my finger at anyone. I am pointing my finger at everyone. There is a difference :-) For one thing, I'm included in the "everyone" :-)
And I have never met a person, who has not, at some (several) point(s) of his or her life experienced all of these ... hateful emotions.
And the worst, the absolutely worst thing you can do about them is to put the lid on them. To not recognize that they are there, and try to pretend they are not. It's a bit like a closet ... you know ... the closet where you stuff "everything" when you need to just get it off the surfaces of your house, and really don't know what you'll do with it. So, it's stuffed into the closet. Dirty socks and playthings, a box of whatever and kiddies' new shoes.
Now, this closet simile is actually very good :-)
There are things in there that you will miss ! and will not understand where are.
The closet will at the same time constantly nag at the back of your brain, draining you with it's unknown contents and "horrors", and one day, when you try to stuff one more thing in there, "everything" is going to come tumbling out, and that is not a pretty sight. There is dirty laundry that you would much rather not deal with twice, and which you most particularly would have preferred to not contaminate that leather hand-bag that was rather neat when it was stuffed in there.
We do the same thing with lots of emotions. Good and bad. Because we live in a society where the only really acceptable emotion is joy. Oh, a single, quiet tear might be ok, but not anger, not anguish ... nothing too much over the top, and yes, joy can be too much over the top too.
So, we stuff emotions into our mental closet, and when the day comes, where it all tumbles out, what happens is - more often than not - violence.
Violence that can be aimed at yourself, violence that can be aimed at others.
School-shootings and senseless murders. Beating of family and cutting of yourself. Anorexia and bulimia. Drugs from the MD or from the street.
And no, I'm sorry, but these are not grotesques. These are real happenings. Things that happen to normal, well-adjusted, resourceful families who do not deal with their emotions.

So, what to do ?
You have this closet, jam-filled with emotions, and you are really, truly scared to try and take out just one, because "everything" will then tumble out.
Well ... in my eyes, the only thing can be done is, to start
Accept that these emotions are there.
Recognize them.
Reach out to see if there is any help around you (and there will be). Friends. Family. Therapists. Ministers. They are out there, and they will help ... if you will ask.

Sometimes the closet is so jam-packed that you will need professional help. Don't turn it down ! Accept the pills and the therapy that will help you move on. Don't think you can do without the help of others !
Because that is part of it too :-)
You are not alone :-)
And this is where prayer is part of it too :-)

And one by one, you can offer your troubles and your hateful emotions to Jesus Christ.
Pray that he will lift the burden of them off your shoulders.
Take your troubles to the sancutary of God that is your own heart and soul, and rather than take your own counsel, take that of God.
Reach out your empty hands, and feel how God will help you. Sending you messengers, angels, in many shapes and forms. Work-mates, family, professionals. He will send them, but you will have to grasp the opportunity :-)

You may not be rich or powerful, or have a glamourous life with lots of parties and nice clothes, but you may be at peace with God and with yourself.
And to me, that is basically what this psalm is about.
Our yearning to be and to have that which we are not and have not, and how to deal with that, emotionally and in faith.

Now, the only part I actually don't like about this psalm is the ... smugness in the certainty that the rich and powerful are on a slippery slope to destruction. I would much prefer to know, that they too can go to the sanctuary of God that is their heart, that riches and the finding of love, forgiveness and rest, are not mutually exclusive :-)

But I guess it's similar to what the former Chech president (and even former dissident author) Vaclav Havel said : Being a politician demands that a person has extraordiary moral fibre, because when you are a politician it is extremely easy to become morally corrupt.
To my mind it's a bit like that with being a woman (or man) of faith.
It is so very easy to be sucked in and believe that you are righteouss and faithful, and all it really takes is one, tiny, hateful emotion, sneaking in unbidden in your thoughts.

No, to me, this psalm is very much a reminder, that the only offering I have to give to the Lord is that which is not good enough, and the only road I can meaningfully travel towards God is, to give up that which is my own : the emotions that lead away from love.

And that every time I recognize these hateful emotions, that I have to take them out, and beg Jesus Christ to take them away from me.
To not be "a habitation of cruelty", but to strive to keep the sancutary of our bodies and souls as pure as we can (1 Cor 6,19), and to know, that we cannot do so on our own

To me, my own ... helplessness in that regard is not depressing. In some ways it's a great relief. To know, that I cannot do it on my own, that I need help, that I need to reach out to both my God and my neighbour. To give as well as recieve. And the "recieve" part is not the least important one here :-)
To see the angels that God have place around me. Not as glittery pictures of long-haired, sex-less beings, but as the man who holds the door and smiles, the woman who makes room for me on the bus, the neighbour who waves and shouts "hi".
All I have to do is ... recieve :-)

God bless you.