Lenten thoughts

As many of you will know, I'm a pastor, and as part of my pastoral duties, I teach the confirmands-to-be. This is - at times - a mixed pleasure, or - to put it more bluntly - It is downright awful when the little beasts think that they don't want to learn anything today or just plain check out whether this pastor is as tough as she seems.
I'm not a qualified teacher, and it shows.
On days like that, I can get no work done for the rest of the day, because by the time they leave, I have a migraine.

At this time of the year, things are - in spite of everything - usually in fairly plain waters, with no major upsets, and with at least a decent faking on the kids' part, that this is interesting. We have gotten to know each other, and they abide by the rules of my class-room (which are "courtesy and consideration" btw)

This year's class is problematic for a number of reasons, too longwinded to get into here, so I'll stay with the lesson I had with them on Thursday. To me, the proceedings high-lighted an essential part of the problem.

We have Lent, so I told the story of the Temptation of Christ in the wilderness.
How Satan comes and challenges Jesus at the end of His 40 days of fasting.
Stones to bread. Throw yourself from the high cliff. Dominion over the world.

Now, the challenge with "Throw yourself from this cliff. If you really are the son of God, the Angels will catch you". The kids could relate to that one, because they know it. It's the old "I dare you to ..." game, that they have all been subjected to, and which most of them have subjected others to, so, we could get a bit of a talk about that.

The transformation of stones to bread meant nothing to them. They have never been hungry in all their lives.
That's ok.
That is how blessed we are in this part of the world. But even when I translated it into "not getting what you want" they didn't understand it either. Of course they get what they want ! Every time.

Now that was scary enough, but what actually terrified me was, that the last challenge, the temptation of power, meant nothing to them.
Not because they find power uninteresting, but because they have it !

-Have you never wished "If only I could decide ..." whatever ?
Nope
-So, you're happy to let your parents decide ?
They don't decide what I do.
-Don't your parents have something to say over what you do ?
Nope. I do what I want to, no matter what they say.
-What about homework. Don't you ever wish that you didn't have to do it ?
Nope, because I just don't do it when I don't feel like it.
-Do you ever feel like making home-work ?
Nope.
-And are there any repercussions ?
Nope.
-Don't you get any flack for not doing it?
Oh, yeah, they yell a bit, but that's it.

....

-What happens when your mother tells you to clean up the mess of your rooms ? Do you do as you're told ?
Nope. No reason to. She'll forget soon enough.
-So you just don't do it ?
Right.
-And what happens when she finds out you didn't do it ?
Nothing
-Nothing ?
Well, she yells a bit, but that's it.

...

-Don't you, just occasionally, wish that you could decide whether you should do or don't do this, that or the other ?
Nope. I never do anything I don't want to. They stopped making me do so a long time ago.

...


Yes, reads like a 2-person conversation, but in reality it was 20 kids, who - with very few exceptions - all agreed, that this is how it is.

These kids could not relate to the "dream of power", because they have absolute power !
They are 13 years old, and run their own lives, and that of their families too.
... and they have no guidance over and above their own immediate desires ... which are gratified immediately.

"Jane Doe got this-and-that, so I want this-and-that and I want it now, and I'll make everyone's life in this family Hell until I get it !"
So to avoid family Hell, the parents just pay up. And do so immediately. It's easier that way. And by now, by their having reached the grand age of 13, they no longer have to threaten or throw tantrums, they just point, demand, and get.

There is nothing in their lives they are afraid to loose, because "I'll just get another one", and if it is no longer available, it's probably just old junk anyway.

There is nothing they feel obliged to do "Why should I bother ? Someone else will do it for me if I just leave it, and if no-one does, why should I, it isn't important then"

There is no thing they wish for, aim at or dream about, because they have never, ever been without any thing in their spoiled little lives ... except parents and other caretakes who are shouldering their responsibilities as adults.

And the great big hole in their lives, the hold where love and caring should be, aches and aches, and to dull that ache, they demand more ... and get more ... things.

And I was chilled to the bone.
Horrified.
How can children like that ever learn to love ?
How can children like that ever learn to dream ?
How can children like that ever grow up and become adults ?

And how can parents abuse their children in that way ?
How can they place the burden of decision on the children ?
How can they bear to let their children think, that they can get every thing without doing any thing themselves ?
Is this preparing children for the real world ?
How can the so-called adults around these children face themselves ?
The so-called adults ought to know, that with that kind of youth, these kids will become adults who has never experienced any kind of consequenses in their lives ? It doesn't matter what they do or do not. They get it the way they think they want it. Every time !

To my way of thinking (which, mind you, comes straight from the Stone-age) these so-called adults have taken so much from their children, and they have only given them things.

These so-called adults HAVE given their children stones, when they could have fed them with good, nourishing bread.

And what is the bread then ?
Well, from the top of my head :
The joy of achievement, in spite of obstacles.
The freedom of childhood, which is not having to carry the burden of responsibility. These children, are not requested to, but have been given, willy-nilly, the burden of being the know-all and do-all of their own lives, and their parents and other adults around them, have given them nothing with which to carry that burden.
The joy of being loved.
Knowing that there is "right" and "wrong", and that you can choose either. And that any choice you make has consequences. Right now, but also further down the road.
Knowing that you are not the do-all and be-all of your own life. That you are part of a family, and that this partnership entails responsibilites as well as bonuses.
Knowing that the family is not "just" the biological entity, but also the family of God.

And I'm sad. Very, very sad.
I only have 5 sessions left with these kids, and I really can't see how I can do anything about this ... except pray.
Pray, that God will open their eyes and souls.
Pray, that God will help them find a way to get bread, rather than stones.
Pray, that God will also help them realize, that bread IS better than stones.
... and pray, that the ill turn their parents and other responsible adults have done them (the way I see it) will be turned to good by He, who is the source of all good.